Like most people, I’m trying to live more simply and economically. So I just bought a 12-pound bag of baking soda. Have you read about the miracles of baking soda? You can use it for everything, I kid you not—from washing your hair to getting melted plastic bags off your toaster. According to the blog post “75 Extraordinary Uses for Baking Soda,” I learned that it can also be:
- Applied on a jellyfish sting to draw out the venom.
- Put under sinks and along basement walls to repel cockroaches and ants.
- Added to the water when you’re boiling a chicken to help the feathers come off easier.
- Added to your bath to remove the odor of skunk spray.
That got me to thinking. With the coming Zombie Apocalypse, I’m going to need a lot more than a basement full of canned goods and bottled water. While my son has assured me that he has a plan, which includes clever new ways to use household objects to fend off the walking dead, it looks like I’ll be the one left cleaning up the mess. Teenagers.
With that in mind, I’ve devised five important new uses for baking soda, and believe me, you’re gonna thank me when the unkempt hoards come dragging toward your place.
- Sprinkle liberal amounts of baking soda around the foundation of your house to repel them. Note: Do this well in advance.
- Throw baking soda in their face. It burns their eyes but also clears up their skin.
- If zombies outnumber you and manage to get into your house, amaze them with the drain-cleaning properties of baking soda. It will momentarily distract them while you locate your hatchet.
- Douse yourself with baking soda and stand against a white wall. Gets them every time. Heh heh heh.
- Have you ever tried to get the stain of entrails out of carpet? Two words: baking soda.
On second thought, I’d better lay in a bigger supply. I’ve noticed that my neighbor is developing a slight limp.